Posts tagged ‘Rant’
Did I say 10 ways? I’m afraid someone else has already cornered that particular market!
I meant one:
- Stop thinking of yourself as a female, and start thinking of yourself as a leader.
Seriously. If you blame every conflict that you encounter on your gender — if you assume that your guild members are testing you because you’re a woman, or attempting to manipulate you (with charm, or simple bullying) because you’re representative of the “weaker” sex — then you’re ignoring the real issues. And believe me, there are real issues. Male leaders experience the exact. same. challenges. that we do!
When our officers talk through the issues afflicting our guild, my gender has never entered into the conversation. Not once have I said “Soandso is acting out in raids because he thinks I’ll let him get away with it, being a girl and all. Clearly, I need to man up and show him who’s boss!”
No. Our conversations tend to be more along the lines of “Soandso is acting out in raids because he feels underutilized. He may be testing us to see what he can get away with — but since we recruit mature, quality people, chances are that it’s an unintentional byproduct of his frustration. Let’s address the underlying issue rather than simply resolve to talk over him. Can we let him coordinate the trash pulls in this part of the instance? Give him a CC target? What can we do to make him feel useful, so he will focus more on the task at hand and less on the feathers he can ruffle?”
I strongly believe that allowing gender to enter into the discussion as anything more than a footnote (and who reads those, anyway?¹) does a disservice not only to you, as a female guild leader, but to all who would follow your lead — including those men for whom you assume that your gender is an issue at all.
Are female gamers a statistical minority? Sure. But just like not all of us are dancing naked on the Naxxramas summoning stone, whoring ourselves out for attention and epics, not all men are slavering idiots ready willing and eager to lap it up. I’m sure both exist … but why waste time and energy anticipating sexism? Especially if doing so also happens to perpetuate it?
TL;DR: Focus on the real issues. Your gender shouldn’t be one of them. If it is, then chances are it’s because you made it one by blaming everything that could possibly go wrong on your double-X chromosomes. Or you’re playing with idiots, in which case I suggest you make liberal use of the /gkick or /gquit button. As I wrote in the post that thrust me into the blogosphere in the first place, you control your experience. It works both ways.
¹Except Kestral’s, of course. If you skip his footnotes, then you’re missing some of the best parts of his posts!
Six months ago:
Congratulations, Blizzard. You’ve done what none of your competitors have managed to do, and ruined the endgame with your bull-nosed determination to cater to the casuals. Where are the rep grinds? The long, wonderfully complex and lore-rich attunement chains? The rare profession drops that made my tradeskill profitable? Everyone and their pet Sporebat has the same recipes that I do — not to mention the same recolored gear and the same meaningless achievements.
I am no longer a unique and special snowflake.
Books of Glyph Mastery … WTF?! I’ve been grinding for eight hours and have yet to see a single one! Why couldn’t you make the new glyphs trainable, so everyone could learn them? Or even purchasable with tokens, like recipes for Cooking and Jewelcrafting? I really don’t know what you were thinking with this one, Blizzard. Have you even looked at the Auction House lately? Those greedy scribes are ruining the economy. Keep this up, and we’re going to need a bail out.
And, seriously. What is with epic crafting patterns and Fragments of Val’ynar only dropping in 25 raids? Or this pointless grind you call the “Argent Tournament”? The endgame has become a timesink.
And you still hate casuals.
I came to this realization last night, after snarling through an “alt run” of OS10 (on my main, of course; both healers were on mains, although one was an off-spec retadin).
The main tank was the warrior alt of our holy-turned-shadow priest. He is a damned good healer … and a god-awful tank. Still, it wasn’t his tanking that had me all riled up (“on the warpath,” as one slightly wary-of-me hunter put it; they really aren’t used to seeing me rage in /guild chat!). No, it was the fact that the entire group — 100% melee, by the way, and 40% Death Knight — would stand around at half health after each trash pull.
Just standing there, waiting none-too-patiently for me to heal them up to full.
So the healadin and I would look at each other and /sigh, and top them off … and EVERY SINGLE TIME, without fail, the main tank would charge ahead to the next pull (or drake!) when we were still at half mana from healing the entire 10-man raid while out of combat.
You’d think that someone who raided on a healer throughout the entire Burning Crusade and much of the current expansion would know how utterly impolite (and foolish) this is … but, no. Even when the paladin and I /afk’d the readycheck before Sartharion (we were healing! and drinking!), the warrior didn’t take the hint.
“Why aren’t you ready? Come on.”
So I’m becoming an angry healer. You know, the kind who hates tanks. And hates DPS. And writes scathing blogposts to vent her frustrations after “alt runs” she should never have joined in the first place.
Is there a support group for this?